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Detox Playlist to Soothe the Soul (w/ Links and Lyrics)

What to listen to when the heebie jeebies are getting the best of you. These tracks are transcendental, poetic, wistful, sublime: A detox mix for a disturbed soul with the most refined of taste.



Sunset over Lake Ontario (Oswego, New York).


I've been taking my methadone too early when I have take-homes and as a result spending the last 24-48 hours of the weekly cycle in pretty significant withdrawal. I compiled this meandering playlist of the songs / videos that make me feel calm, reflective, and nostalgic. I've inserted some pointless cultural and historical commentary along the way because I'm me.


If I bite it (when I bite it?) and this page is memorialized, I also thought that it might be nice for family and friends to have this. It's a real piece of my soul - be kind to it.


Enya - Only Time

Who can say where the road goes?

Where the day flows

Only time


*If you’re feeling too ill to change tracks, there are YouTube videos that play this haunting track on a loop for hours. 


Simon and Garfunkel - The Only Living Boy in New York

Half of the time we’re gone

But we don’t know where


Emmylou Harris - Bang the Drum Slowly

I meant to ask you how to fix that car

I always meant to ask you about the war

And what you saw across a bridge too far

Did it leave a scar


Bang the drum slowly; play the pipe lowly

To dust be returning from dust we begin

Bang the drum slowly; I'll speak of things holy

Above and below me world without end


*There is a moving video of this song set to a U.S. military funeral (held at Arlington, I believe). 


Dvorak - New World Symphony (Second Movement)

*Classical selection. My piano teacher had a poster with a quote that is reportedly inscribed on an opera house in Frankfurt (I'll have to take her word for it): “Bach gave us God’s word; Mozart gave us God’s laughter; Beethoven gave us God’s fire; And God gave us music, that we might pray without words.” This song evokes a swelling majesty and an abiding loss. 


Johnny Cash - Hurt (Nine Inch Nails Cover)

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that’s real


The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything


You could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt


*This video, recorded shortly before Johnny Cash’s death, features a montage of his life with June Carter Cash. 


Kodaline - High Hopes

In my dreams I see the ghosts of all the people who’ve come and gone


*See the music video for a story about a tragic love that transforms and lingers. 


Gordon Lightfoot - If You Could Read My Mind

I will never be set free

As long as I’m a ghost that you can’t see


*I have no real justification for inclusion of this track here beyond the fact that Gordon Lightfoot’s voice is just so rich and comforting; his is the kind of spellbinding tone that makes you believe him when he tells you that everything is going to be okay. 


Tired Pony - Get on the Road

The fire, the wine, the bed and you

In this crimson light I find the truth

And truth is like a punch or two

It hits you hard, it knocks you through


So I get on the road and ride to you

I get on the road and ride to you


Kiss like a fight that neither wins

One tender payment for our sins

You are the drug that I can't quit

Your perfect chaos is a perfect fit


*Dedicated to anyone who has ever let love go because they were in the stranglehold of addiction.

 

U2 - Mothers of the Disappeared

Where are my sons and daughters?

Cut down

Taken from us

Hear their heartbeats

We hear their heartbeats


Night hangs like a prisoner

Stretched over black and blue

Hear their heartbeats

We hear their heartbeats


*The title is a reference to the Madres de la Plaza de Mayo, a group that publicly demanded that the Videla dictatorship of Argentina release information about their disappeared sons and daughters, many of whom were students and teachers engaged in nonviolent political activism. When I hear this song, I think too about the tens of thousands of Millennial opioid addicts in the U.S. who are either dead or experiencing AWOL of the soul. 


Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet 

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be

All I do is keep the beat, the bad company

All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme

Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time


*I think that the Kinks, the Dire Straits, and the Libertines are three of the most niche / underappreciated of British rock bands.


One Headlight - The Wallflowers

Hey

Come on try a little

Nothing is forever

There's got to be something better than in the middle


Me and Cinderella

We put it all together

We can drive it home

With one headlight


*Bob Dylan’s son Jakob and Jakob’s son Levi are seriously underrated as heartthrobs; Google them, O Ye of Little Faith. 


Phosphorescent - Song for Zula

Some say love is a burning thing

That it makes a fiery ring

Oh but I know love as a fading thing

Just as fickle as a feather in a stream


See, honey, I saw love

You see it came to me

It put its face up to my face so I could see

Yeah then I saw love disfigure me

Into something I am not recognizing


Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?


Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk-on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?


How I wish, how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fishbowl

Year after year

Running over the same old ground

What have we found?

The same old fears

Wish you were here


Elton John - Rocket Man

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time

'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no, no, no

I'm a rocket man

Rocket man

Burning out his fuse up here alone


*Whoever made the animation for this video is a genius; it deserves the 144 million views that it has garnered. 


Fleetwood Mac - Landslide

Well, I've been afraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I'm getting older too


*Stevie Nicks has been vocal about her battle with addiction to clonazepam, a benzodiazepine whose withdrawal syndrome left her in the hospital for a month; she admits that benzo addiction made her legendary coke addiction seem like a walk in the park. She also lost a godson to a Xanax / alcohol overdose.


Fastball - Outta My Head

Sometimes I feel like I'm drunk behind the wheel

The wheel of possibility

However it may roll

Give it a spin

See if you can somehow factor in

You know there's always more than one way

To say exactly what you mean to say


Was I out of my head or was I out of my mind?

How could I have ever been so blind?

I was waiting for an indication, it was hard to find

Don't matter what I say, only what I do

I never mean to do bad things to you

So quiet but I finally woke up

If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too


*I miss the straightforward ‘90s, when the vibe was overridingly positive and low self-esteem was an acceptable excuse for everything from shyness to being a slut. 


Counting Crows - Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby

Well, I woke up in mid-afternoon 'cause that's when it all hurts the most

I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host

If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts

You can never escape; you can only move south down the coast


Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know

What's real and going on below

But now you never show it to me do you?

And remember when I moved in you?

The holy dark was moving too

And every breath we drew was hallelujah


Oasis - Wonderwall

Backbeat, the word is on the street

That the fire in your heart is out

I’m sure you’ve heard it all before

But I’ve never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now


And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead the way are blinding…


Bridge Over Troubled Water - Artists for Grenfell (Simon and Garfunkel Cover)

When you're down and out

When you're on the street

When evening falls so hard

I will comfort you

I'll take your part

Oh, when darkness comes

And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down


*This is a heartrending cover of the original by several prominent British artists singing in memory of the Grenfell Tower fire. 


Elton John - Candle in the Wind (Princess Diana Version) 

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind

Never fading with the sunset

When the rain set in


*I am a huge Princess Di fan. This video features iconic shots of the most photographed woman of the 20th century. There is something extraordinary, ethereal, and eternal about her photographic presence. Suffice it to say that – despite probable BPD and definite bulimia – Princess Di’s connection with the young, the weak, and the suffering made an indelible impact on the entire world. Among many other touching moments, she held the hand of an AIDS patient on TV at a time when most people were still terrified to be around people with the disease. 


Passenger - The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Well, I am the shepherd's only son

And I know what a joke I've become

I have an honest heart but I have lies on my tongue

I don't know how it started or where it came from

And you have no reason and I have no proof

But this time I swear, I'm telling the truth

I saw that old wolf, from tail to tooth

And I know that he's hungry and he's coming down too


*Pure poetry; another animated video worth checking out. 


Guster - One Man Wrecking Machine

I built a time machine

I'm going to see the homecoming queen

Take her to the Christmas dance

Maybe now I'll get in her pants

Whatever


Back with my high school friends

Meeting where the train tracks end

Passing round a skinny joint

Rolling up to lookout point


I want to pull it apart and put it back together

I want to relive all my adolescent dreams

Inspired by true events on movie screens

I am a one man wrecking machine


*This song became a kind of personal anthem in my early 30s. 


Fun - Carry On

If you're lost and alone, or you're sinkin' like a stone

Carry on

May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground

Carry on


Natalie Merchant - Carnival 

And I've walked these streets

In the madhouse asylum they can be

Where a wild-eyed misfit prophet

On a traffic island stopped and he raved of saving me

Have I been blind, have I been lost

Inside myself and my own mind?

Hypnotized, mesmerized by what my eyes have seen


*Purportedly a favorite of serial killer Aileen Wuornos in the days before her execution. Nice to know who shares your taste in music. 


Lana Del Rey - Ride

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast

I am alone at midnight

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I

I've got a war in my mind

I just ride

Just ride, I just ride, I just ride

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy

I'm tired of driving 'til I see stars in my eyes

All I've got to keep myself sane, baby

So I just ride, I just ride


*There is a video compilation of Marilyn Monroe set to this song that is another favorite of mine. 

 

The Killers - Read My Mind

The good old days, the honest man

The restless heart, the Promised Land

A subtle kiss that no one sees

A broken wrist and a big trapeze

Oh well, I don't mind if you don't mind

'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine

Before you go

Can you read my mind?


*The Killers filmed the music video for this song in Tokyo; it's definitely worth watching.


Third Eye Blind - God of Wine 

Every glamorous sunrise

Throws the planets out of line

A star sign out of whac

A fraudulent zodiac

And the God of Wine

Is crouched down in my room

You let me down, I said it

Now I'm going down


* Whether or not Stephan Jenkins lied about being valedictorian at UC Berkeley, Third Eye Blind is unquestionably one of the GOAT’s. 


Third Eye Blind - Deep Inside of You 

When we met light was shed

Thoughts free flow, you said you've got something

Deep inside of you


A wind chime voice sounds, sway of your hips round rings true

It goes deep inside of you

These secret garden beams

Changed my life so it seems

Fall breeze blows outside, I don't break stride

My thoughts are warm

And they go deep inside of you


Janis Joplin - Me and Bobby McGee

But I'd trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday

To be holdin' Bobby's body next to mine

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

And nothin' don't mean nothin' , honey, if it ain't free


Shawn Colvin - Sunny Came Home

Sunny came home with a list of names

She didn't believe in transcendence


"And it's time for a few small repairs," she said

Sunny came home with a vengeance


She says, "Days go by, I don't know why

I'm walking on a wire

I close my eyes and fly out of my mind

Into the fire"


*Don’t judge me for this one.


The Carpenters - The Rainbow Connection 

Have you been sleeping, and have you heard voices?

I've heard them calling my name

Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors

The voice might be one and the same


I've heard it too many times to ignore it

It's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers, and me


*Don’t Judge Me: Part Deux. I remember hearing this song when I very young and thinking that A) Karen Carpenter had the most beautiful voice that I had ever heard, and B) that she sounded deeply, inexplicably sad even when she was singing songs with bright lyrics. With Karen emaciated from the anorexia that killed her at 32 and her brother Richard so stupefied by Quaaludes that he had to be carried to the piano before certain performances, the Carpenters were a uniquely American shitshow.  


Ripple - Grateful Dead

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken

Perhaps they're better left unsung

I don't know, don't really care

Let there be songs to fill the air


*I grew up around Dead Heads. One of my cool aunts on my mom’s side had a sticker on her glove compartment that said “Papa Bear: 1942 - Forever.” 


Emmylou Harris - Every Grain of Sand (Bob Dylan Cover)

I gaze into the doorway of temptation's angry flame

And every time I pass that way, I always hear my name

Then onward in my journey, I come to understand

That every hair is numbered like every grain of sand

I have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night

In the violence of a summer's dream, in the chill of a wintry light

In the bitter dance of loneliness, fading into space

In the broken mirror of innocence on each forgotten face

I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea

Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other time it's only me

I am hanging in the balance of a perfect finished plan

Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand


Let It Be - The Beatles

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me

Shine until tomorrow

Let it be
















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